


At A Loss

by MsNoGood



Category: Ao no Exorcist | Blue Exorcist
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-28
Updated: 2018-12-28
Packaged: 2019-09-29 03:29:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17195666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsNoGood/pseuds/MsNoGood
Summary: Izumo can't sleep. Bon comforts her. Takes place after the events at Inari shrine.





	At A Loss

It was impossible to sleep. An unseasonably hot October evening had turned the room Izumo was sleeping in into a furnace. Somehow Shiemi and Paku were just fine and slept soundly across from her. 

They were back in Kyoto, not for any mission but a festival being held near the shrine. Suguro; at Koneko and Shima's prodding invited the whole class to come. Izumo chuckled remembering that stupid earnest gorilla getting up in front of the entire class and shouting that everyone needed to come. Izumo was ready to decline but Paku agreed so quickly that she had no choice. 

She scowled. She was so tired and agitated. Sitting up she pushed the sheets off and wiped her brow. Drawing her legs up she rubbed her knees, her skin was already getting clammy and gross. 'It's no good' she thought and drug herself to her feet. 

Quietly so as not to disturb the others, Izumo slipped from the room. Sliding the door back in place as softly as she could Izumo breathed a sigh of relief. It was still warm in the hallways but the air current offered the barest respite and for that she was grateful.

She slunk down the hallway, the wood floors thunking softly under her feet. She stopped at what she knew was Suguro's room. Her instincts told her to go in but she hesitated.

Things were so ambiguous between them right now. Sure they had gotten closer since her mother died, he even kissed her once! Alright it was a chaste kiss on her cheek but she had felt something there, a warmth from him and…a promise? As if reliving that moment, her hand unbidden touched her cheek and she blushed furiously. 

Her fingertips reached for the door but she could not press further. Why was it so hard for her to go to him? She let it drop. She had told herself that she was free and she had nothing to hold her back any longer but her reluctance to depend on others persisted. Doubt riddled her thoughts and questioned her every move to the point of inaction. Finally she sighed and turned away.

“I guess a tiger can't change it's stripes after all, right momma?” She said to herself as she retreated down the hallway. Her face tensed and tears welled up in her eyes. She quickly wiped them away. She had only gotten a few feet from Suguro's door when she heard footsteps followed by his door sliding open. 

She turned, Suguro was there leaning against the doorway, wearing nothing more than track pants and a stern expression. Arms crossed over his bare chest, he fixed her with his gaze. She gulped, surprised to see him.

“I…I was just…”

He pushed away from the door frame and walked back into his room but left the door open. She heard the bed creak as he got back in it. The unspoken invitation beckoned her.

She stood in the dark hallway holding herself and staring at the open door. She was afraid for some reason. This felt like a big deal. But this way she didn't have to ask. It was just an open door, all she had to do was walk through it. 

She took one small step towards the door, then another, and another until finally she was in his doorway. He was lying there arms behind his head staring calmly at the ceiling.

He shifted his eyes in her direction and then back to the ceiling. He wouldn't look at her, he vowed, not unless she came to him. She was skittish enough already and if he eyeballed her she might bolt. 

Wordlessly he moved all the way over so that he was almost touching the wall. 'There', he thought, 'This way no one has to ask the other for anything, no one gets embarrassed'. 

He heard her footsteps as she entered the room and then the door sliding closed. Although he projected the perfect image of calm, inside his heart was racing. The bed dipped and creaked as she climbed inside. 

He felt his skin tingling all over as she lay down beside him. She lay there, in complete silence wondering what the hell she was doing. 

Technically the temperature was lower in Suguro's room but she couldn't tell because she felt afire. He had scooted over but the bed wasn't very large. He was mere inches from her. All her nerves were rattling and it was difficult to keep her breathing steady. Finally she couldn't take the tension anymore she broke her silence.

“It's very hot…in my room. I…I can't sleep.”

He rolled over and looked at her. She was lying there so still like a robot or a doll, staring blankly at the ceiling. She blinked several times, her eyes were watering. Her voice trembled as the words fell out of her mouth. She couldn't stop herself once she started.

“I feel…I feel empty and I don't know what to do. I thought I could rededicate myself to becoming an exorcist and fighting but…momma and Tsukumo…the pain is crushing me.” What had she done? She said it so plain there was no way to pretend it never happened. What would he do now? 

The tears that threatened finally spilled, streaking straight down into her hair. Suguro propped his head up under his elbow and reached out to her, wiping the tears from her face. She cupped his hand in hers and closed her eyes as more tears spilled down her cheeks. 

His lips brushed softly against her eyelids, her forehead, and finally the corner of her mouth. Her lips opened involuntarily underneath his and she tentatively kissed his lower lip. She opened her eyes and he was staring down at her, with those intense eyes of his. He seemed to be struggling with something. 

“It's okay, you can kiss me. I…I like it.” 

“But do you want it?”

Her breath caught in her throat. She wanted to exclaim 'more than anything' but instead she choked out an anguished “Yes.”

In response he pulled her fully into his arms and kissed her lips gently over and over making her giddy with the sweet feeling. Her lips parted and not missing a beat he covered her mouth and slipped his tongue inside. He moved slow and methodical, dipping and stroking her tongue with his own and then pulling back to catch a breath only to recapture her lips again. 

His kisses became harder and more demanding and she responded in kind. She was dizzy with sensation, gasping for air and moaning into his open mouth. He felt a deep shiver run down his spine in response to the noises she was making. He wanted to hear her moan again. Could he make her say his name? He certainly wanted to try. Well he wanted the rest of it too and the stiffening in his pants agreed. 

One of his hands slipped into her yukata. Izumo gasped in surprise. His hand was like fire on her skin burning sweetly where it touched. It traveled up her ribs and cupped her breast. She moaned again overwhelmed by the ache his touch caused but this was going too far. She grabbed his hand and pulled it away. He broke the kiss. He looked down at her with half lidded eyes. His breathing was ragged. She was panting. “We shouldn't…”

“S-sorry I…got carried away.” He rolled away and found his spot on the ceiling. The hand that touched Izumo's breast curled against his chest. He wasn't ready to put that away just yet. 

Izumo blinked rapidly to clear her head. She was flush all over and felt a distinct thrum between her legs. His warmth withdrawn made her feel bereft. 

“Wait, I meant…we haven't talked about what we are to each other right? So we shouldn't rush.”

He turned to look at her. “You're right.” Of course she was right. She came to him for comfort not a makeout session. “Do you wanna talk now?'

She frowned. “No…maybe in the morning. Suddenly I'm tired.” She went silent and clenched her jaw. She sighed in frustration. 

He watched her stupidly for a second. There was clearly more she wanted to say but couldn't find the right words. She moved like she would get up from the bed and he panicked.

“You can stay!…I mean just cuz we're not…you should stay.” His voice was barely above a whisper now “I'll hold you.”

She looked shocked at his declaration and then her face broke into laughter. He blushed and started to get angry. He really was an earnest gorilla. How embarrassing. 

“Ok, I'll stay but let me spoon you.” It was his turn to gasp.

“Huh?! The guy is supposed to spoon the girl! You got it all wrong!” 

Her smiled widened. “It's what I want. Now roll over.” 

“Tch.” He frowned but turned so that his back was facing her. Seconds later he felt her soft slim body curl up behind him. Her arm snaked under his and gripped his chest. Her silky hair spread over the back of his neck.

“See? It's not so bad is it?” 

“Mm.”

It was much nicer than he imagined. In fact it was downright pleasant. All things considered it could definitely be worse. And this way he didn't have to hide his erection while he waited patiently for it to cool down. This was going to be a long night. He sighed softly “Goodnight, Izumo.”

She squeezed him gently and pressed her cheek against his neck. “G'night…gorilla.”

 

______________________

 

The next morning Izumo would wake up alone.

She yawned and stretched. Curling up with Bon had worked wonders for her sleep. She was so well rested. She patted his side of the bed to find it still warm but empty. She sat up looking around for him. She felt a twinge of panic until she found a note on the pillow. She picked it up and slowly unfolded it. “I got up early for a run. Shima is a bit of a sneak, so be careful! - Bon” The word “love” as a closer was scratched out.

Izumo frowned. The note was so ambiguous. Maybe he was having second thoughts about them but didn't have the guts to face her. Her mind flashed back to last night “You should stay!…I'll hold you”

Ugh! Why did her brain always assume the negative? He could have just been flustered about it all. She looked at the scratched out “love” again and smiled. Maybe he didn't want to presume anything and was protecting her dignity? She put the note down sighing, she was tricking herself.

“Expectations are the fastest route to disappointment.”

She steeled herself. Remaining neutral about this would be best. Show no emotion. Your feelings can't get hurt if you don't let them run wild. 

Now the only trouble was getting back to her room without being noticed. Especially by that blabbermouth Shima. Shima would definitely tell Rin and then Rin would start asking embarrassingly bold questions. That boy had no couth. 

“How best to handle this?” She thought for a moment and then it clicked. Pulling out her magic circles she summoned Uke and Mike. The two fox spirits appeared in a puff of smoke, as cheeky and recalcitrant as ever. 

“What is the meaning of this?”

“It's quite early in the day to be calling us!”

Izumo fumed. “Don't start!” Although their faces remained serene it was clear the two foxes were pouting. “I need you to find a path for me from this room to the one that Shiemi and Paku are in without anyone noticing me.

Mike looked askance “What sort of trouble have you gotten yourself into here?”

Izumo fixed the kitsune with a firm glare. “Do not question me.” 

Uke sighed “Ah she's no fun right now. Let's hurry.” With that the two foxes dashed off. Minutes later the two reappeared. “It will be tricky”

“Shima is already awake.”

“There is a way, follow us” Mike jumped in the window sill and patted it. Izumo opened the window and the three of them slipped through. They scampered into the trees beside the building, doubled back around the Ryokan and came to the side entrance. Uke stepped in front of her before she could take another step.

“Someone is coming, hide!”

The three of them hunched behind the bushes and Izumo did her best to listen. A pair of footsteps crunched on the gravel path. Another pair sounded behind them.

“Bon!”

That was Rin. 

“Ah Okumura! Why're you awake this early?” 

Rin grinned stupidly. “I dunno it was just time. Are you out jogging first thing in the morning? Whaa so serious!”

“Heh, this is an important part of my training. No slacking off.” Izumo rolled her eyes, sure Bon was hot and a great kisser but his reactions to compliments were always over the top. 

“Hey Bon, let's wake the girls and check out the shops downtown! It'll be fun!”

Izumo panicked. If Rin went in there now he would definitely ask where she was. Bon must have felt a similar fear because he coughed furiously. Rin patted him on the back. “You okay Bon?”

“Yeah, yeah just let's not wake them just yet. Izumo seems like the type to kill someone that woke her too early”

Rin looked disappointed. “That's probably true. Especially about Izumo. Still…”

Izumo snapped a twig off the bush next to her. 'Those two!'

“Better yet, why don't you get breakfast going? The smell of cooking food will wake them gently from their sleep.”

Rin brightened at the suggestion. “Ah that's a great idea! I'll get started right away.” With that Rin ran back inside the Ryokan. Bon watched him go breathing a deep sigh of relief. 

“You can come out from the bushes now.” 

Izumo stood up. “How did you know?”

“I grew up here. There aren't that many hiding places.” Then he pointed at Mike and Uke. “ Besides I saw those guys earlier on my run and figured it out. That's pretty clever using your familiars to find a different way in.”

Izumo came and stood beside Bon. He was standing there all sweaty, chest out, arms akimbo, and breathing hard not unlike last night. Izumo blushed remembering it. She looked away to hide her embarrassment. 

Suguro, clueless as ever pulled off his shirt, took out a bottle of water and poured it over his face and chest. The water splashed down his torso. His pecs glistened, his nipples went rock hard. Tiny rivulets streamed down his taut abs and into his shorts. Izumo gawked openly at this display until Bon turned back in her direction. She struggled to get her face under control.

Uke and Mike looked at her and then looked at Bon. Uke clucked his tongue while Mike sighed loudly at the teenagers. 

“We'll leave you in this young man's capable hands. He seems to know the way.” And with that they vanished. 

“Hey!”

“It's fine, this is the right way.” He beckoned. “Come on.” He slid the door open and waved to her again. She ran up to the open door. Suguro stopped her. “Back there is the kitchen so just go straight. You guys's room is on the right.”

She nodded and slipped inside.

“I'll follow you in after I finish one more lap okay? She nodded again and before she lost her nerve, she gave him a quick kiss on the lips and then turned and ran.

Bon stood in the doorway holding his mouth for a minute. He then closed the door and took off running. He had a fresh wave of energy he needed to burn off. 

Unbeknownst to the two of them a slack-jawed Rin stood in the kitchen, knife and potato in hand, watching his two most belligerent friends kiss.

______________________

 

Later that day the cram school students went for a long walk exploring the nearby shops downtown. As Shiemi, Paku and Rin gawked at and contemplated keepsakes Izumo lingered behind to walk beside Suguro.

“They look like they're having fun” Izumo remarked.

“Yeah…”

Izumo pretended to shop the book aisle as she considered her next move. She was conflicted, part of her wanted to blurt out her feelings and the other demanded that she maintain the slightest bit of pride. She was the woman after all, and if she were being truly honest she didn't want to end up like her mother. She bent over pulling a book from the bottom shelf and thumbing through the pages. 

“So…”

Bon interrupted “Izumo…” he stepped towards her and it took every bit of willpower in her not to back up. “I like you, I think you know that.” 

She blushed and looked away from his intense gaze. “Mm.…but”

“But?” 

“You left me this morning.” She held the book to her chest like a shield. 

“I left you a note?” he sputtered. 

“It was really vague okay?” Her voice began to rise.“And after I told you how I was feeling last night, the last thing I wanted was to wake up and find you gone!” She averted her gaze and lowered her voice to barely a whisper. “I thought you changed your mind.”

Bon moved in close and this time Izumo backed up. He grabbed her arm and pulled her into his embrace. The book fell from her grasp and landed with a loud thunk on the floor. 

“Izumo…I would never…”

Just then Rin, Shiemi, and Paku walked into the book aisle. Bon blushed and moved Izumo behind him. Izumo's fingers curled into his shirt and she hid her face against his back. 

“Ah hi guys!” Bon laughed nervously.

Shiemi smiled bright and waved “Bon, have you seen Izumo?”

Paku was a bit more perceptive “Oh Shiemi I'm sure I saw her by the keychains” She grabbed the blonde by the arm and drug her away. Rin stood grinning mischievously. 

“Hey you guys, no worries I'll tell the others you'll catch up to us at the next store. Take all the time you need.” 

Izumo was aghast and peeked her head from behind Suguro. “What's that supposed to mean?!”

“Oh nothing. See ya!” And with a little wave he was gone. Bon turned and looked right into the face of fury.

“What did you say to him?”

“Nothing, besides it doesn't matter, because I don't care who knows. I'm not ashamed!”

Izumo felt her chest clench. Her thoughts went to her mother. That man would not acknowledge her and when he discarded her she fell under possession by the nine tails. Izumo would not say it but she feared the same. “Do you really want everyone to know?” 

Bon scoffed. “It's easier that way, isn't it? No hiding, or sneaking, or pretending. In fact I should probably talk to Shima about it, make sure he understands.”

Izumo lowered her gaze to the floor. Her face contorted and she started to cry. Bon panicked.

“Ah! Please don't cry, I'm sorry! I won't tell anyone!” 

Izumo wiped her tears and raised her head smiling. “No it's fine. It's exactly what I want!” She flung herself into his arms. Bon was taken aback but caught her easily. “It's exactly what I want.” 

They stood there like that for a time until the shopkeeper came past and clucked her tongue. The two teenagers bowed and left.

Outside, Izumo received a text message from Paku. “We got hungry. Meet us at 'Dream burger' for lunch.” Izumo frowned. “Dream burger? Where's that?” 

Suguro looked ahead. “Not far at all. Come on let's go. I'll show you.” He extended his hand to her and gingerly she took it. The the autumn sun had already begun it's evening descent, giving off a fierce orange drenched light. Izumo's eyes watered to look at it. The wind stirred and a hint of winter's coming chill kissed her cheeks. She leaned in close to Bon as they walked. This is exactly what she wanted.

**Author's Note:**

> I just really wanted to write something like this. I think they are the best couple. Also Izumo is so sad, my goodness someone help her.
> 
> Also there's a humorfic I wrote that branches off from here. if you like this one I'll post the other too.


End file.
